Finding vulnerability online
Article written by ava
When you first stumbled upon Bearblog, how did you feel?
As people create blogs on this platform, some choose to share what drew them here, and it is not just the technical side they admire. The posts you can find in the Discover section are different than what they are used to elsewhere: The bloggers let themselves be a lot more vulnerable. Not every post has to convince anyone or show off an optimized life. They aren't written for money, for a big social media audience, or an employer. What feels out of place on other platforms finds a home here.
Reading blogs on Bear feels nostalgic at times, making us think of when platforms like Facebook or Instagram were still full of the posts of your friends and family freely sharing, instead of just lurking or posting very polished versions of themselves. It also reminds us of little pockets of community we have fostered elsewhere in the past, especially before the big platforms monopolized where people gather online, like chat rooms, forums, old blogs and websites.
Do you remember what it felt like to be online back then? I remember thinking "Wow! I am really talking to another person right now! From somewhere else in the world!". This feeling gradually got lost as being online became more common and normal, up to now, as we do not choose to go online, but instead choose to go offline. While scrolling, it seems like the people around us wear masks, protecting themselves from ridicule, from employment consequences, or worse; it hardly feels like you connect with another human being as you watch them unbox a PR box of brand gifts while the viewers comment empty praises.
Cultivating spaces of genuineness, especially in such a commercialized internet full of carefully curated content, is so important. But what's also fun is finding these little patches of light while simply exploring the net, in places you thought you'd never find them.
As I recently went on a little nostalgic music spree on YouTube, I looked into the comments on each video and was pleasantly surprised. People reminisced fondly in a way that felt so authentic.
One user wrote:
"I was 16 and went on an exchange trip to Germany. We watched German MTV for hours with all these hits. I was homesick sometimes and wanted to go back to the U.S. and play world of Warcraft"
Another said:
"I was 8. reminds me of good times - for some reason one of my favorite memories is walking to the bus stop in the morning with my older brother when it was still dark out. i'd do anything to go back to that simplicity"
I love these sorts of sweet, small peeks into other people's lives. The details you'd otherwise not know or care to ask for. It's what I love seeing on Bear too, especially in Week Notes.
This user's description is so vivid to me:
"Brings me back to hearing these songs regularly on a little white cd player radio me and my sister shared that had spongebob stickers all over it from a burger King happy meal. I would stay up late and listen to the radio all night until dawn, and I don't regret it one bit. Sometimes I would sneak into the living room and watch friends and dragon ball z at sunrise. I wouldn't change a thing about those days. I'm 21 now and still watching vhs tapes and using dvds and cds as a regular form of media cause there's nothing like it. There's nothing like turning on the TV and playing okami or spyro 2 on the ps2 until you hear your housemates making coffee."
Not all are just positive, but they are real, and maybe even relatable. Here are two that stuck out to me:
"Damn I was in 7th grade when these bangers were playing on the radio. Had a couple of these on my MySpace page and my parents were together and my sister was not a drug zombie at this time."
"It's about 2 in the morning and I'm finishing up homework I procrastinated. Now that I'm listening to this, I realize that, although I'm part of this generation, I'm not as old as I might believe I am because these "times" have passed. There's so much more ahead of me that I can't even realize because I'm so stuck up in the past. I think this is why I've developed such bad habits -- procrastination, binge eating, social awkwardness, poor body image, jealousy of others, envy of others, overthinking, etc. I'm always worrying about time, that I've wasted so much of my childhood and teenage years doing things I loved, instead of studying to get ahead. I'll keep this playlist to remind me that, although I'm no longer a child, that doesn't mean I have to subject myself to the boredom and stress of adulthood. I'm still so young, I'm still so naive, and I still have a whole world to see. <3"
These comments, left via a more or less anonymous account, under a video with very little engagement usually, show that people still yearn for the kind of space we have here.
To share without being inundated with comments, but still be seen; to be met with kindness and like-minded people, not virality. It's not supposed to perform, but posted to get it out of the system; to document, but not to impose. Once it's out there, they may never go back, and forget that they have even posted that, but it's still there for others to find and to briefly feel a genuine connection in the sea of pretenses.
To me, it's like seeing someone's light far away, knowing I'm not alone.
And you, too, are not alone. Let's cherish what we have here.